It’s been an official 5 months in Ireland (but who's counting? I'm counting) and I’ve posted a sum total of 9 blog posts. This isn’t necessarily the most consistent ratio but it doesn’t mean that I haven’t been writing. On the contrary, I have made more notes in my iPhone and scribbled late night thoughts onto bus tickets than I ever have in my life. If they were strung together and published as is, it would read less Eat. Pray. Love. and more storyboard for an emo music video or a humorously below-average Twitter account. Regardless, I’ve felt very creatively inspired.
Many people told me how brave I was to get up and leave, moving to a country where I didn't know anyone. To an extent, I can see that—we always tend to classify greeting the unknown as a heroic thing to do. But I’m a Hufflepuff, not a Gryffindor (although a recent retake on Pottermore sorted me as a Ravenclaw and it's been a low-key identity crisis). Meeting new people, especially in country that’s known for its chatty, English-speaking inhabitants, doesn’t scare me.
What scares me is the little button in the bottom-right-hand corner of the screen right now—publish.
Even the word “publish” seems too formal for what I’m doing. Blogging is a naturally self-indulgent thing and I’ve been supremely (self-)conscious of not becoming the girl-gone-abroad to find self and solve the problems of the Western World—we all know I’ve gone to brunch more times than I’ve googled ways to help with the refugee crisis.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not learning! About myself and other countries and politics and perspective and the importance of being hospitable. I know the value of a good cup of tea + conversation and how to pour the perfect pint (I’ve been Guinness-certified twice now). I’ve simultaneously been the most happy and most terrified I’ve ever been in my life. It sometimes takes me hours to fall asleep because I’m genuinely excited to wake up the next day, how annoyingly cheesy is that??
So, there might be 7 more posts, there might be 70, I don't really know! I've ceased all creative planning and am letting it come to me. I just have to press publish when it does. "Cause I don't want to freak you out, but I think that I may be the voice of our generation...Or at least a voice. Of a generation."